Thoughts Overheard

While leaving Walmart today, I heard an older gentleman and an employee speaking about a child who had recently left the store with his mother.  (For once it wasn't me and Jason, ha!)  I hadn't seen the child, so I'm not aware of the scene created. 

But the older man said "Annoying little kid."  The employee said "I know! I'd have spanked my kid for screaming like that!" The older man says "That's the problem. No one spanks their kids enough anymore!" to which the employee replies "My grandkids would never act that way."

Now, I'm not anti-spanking.  And I'm also aware that there are children who behave poorly.  But being a parent of a child with special needs, I can tell you that my attitude towards these situations have changed. Six years ago, I may have seen a screaming child and thought that the parents should be doing something else.  But not now.

Now, I stop and think that we don't know that child's story.  We don't know if there are underlying issues.  And people with wagging tongues tend to anger me.  Because I have been on the other side of these conversations.  I've BEEN the parent with the screaming, melt down having, shoe throwing, clothes stripping child.  We've been stared at, pointed at, and laughed at. 

What people don't take into consideration is that a child on the autistic spectrum does not handle situations as others would.  Jason, for instance, has a very tough time in Walmart or other stores similar.  They are noisy, there are many smells and different colors, and there is a lot of movement.  And when he is in the midst of a melt down, pointing and staring people don't help.  And when I am trying to console and calm him, while letting him know he can't behave in this manner, I don't need people pointing and judging and whispering about us. 

People like this make mom's like me feel guilty for going about our daily lives.  For living with this disorder the best we can.  And for not punishing our child for reacting to his environment.  What would be helpful is to show a little understanding and compassion.  Or for people to simply ignore us.  What was the saying? If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.