While leaving Walmart today, I heard an older gentleman and an employee speaking about a child who had recently left the store with his mother. (For once it wasn't me and Jason, ha!) I hadn't seen the child, so I'm not aware of the scene created.
But the older man said "Annoying little kid." The employee said "I know! I'd have spanked my kid for screaming like that!" The older man says "That's the problem. No one spanks their kids enough anymore!" to which the employee replies "My grandkids would never act that way."
Now, I'm not anti-spanking. And I'm also aware that there are children who behave poorly. But being a parent of a child with special needs, I can tell you that my attitude towards these situations have changed. Six years ago, I may have seen a screaming child and thought that the parents should be doing something else. But not now.
Now, I stop and think that we don't know that child's story. We don't know if there are underlying issues. And people with wagging tongues tend to anger me. Because I have been on the other side of these conversations. I've BEEN the parent with the screaming, melt down having, shoe throwing, clothes stripping child. We've been stared at, pointed at, and laughed at.
What people don't take into consideration is that a child on the autistic spectrum does not handle situations as others would. Jason, for instance, has a very tough time in Walmart or other stores similar. They are noisy, there are many smells and different colors, and there is a lot of movement. And when he is in the midst of a melt down, pointing and staring people don't help. And when I am trying to console and calm him, while letting him know he can't behave in this manner, I don't need people pointing and judging and whispering about us.
People like this make mom's like me feel guilty for going about our daily lives. For living with this disorder the best we can. And for not punishing our child for reacting to his environment. What would be helpful is to show a little understanding and compassion. Or for people to simply ignore us. What was the saying? If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
Jason's Journey : Our family's journey with autism
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Book Giveaway!
I recently aquired an extra copy of a book and am going to be doing a giveaway here! The book is Married with Special-Need Children [A Couples' Guide to Keeping Connected] by Lara E. Marshak and Fran Pollock Prezant.
Product Description
(2007 iParenting Media/Excellent Products Award) At last, a guide that speaks to parents about how to work on marital issues while juggling the demands of raising a child with a developmental disability, serious medical condition, or mental illness. In writing this practical, empathetic guide, the authors draw on their combined professional experience in marital counseling and parent training, as well as on the experience and advice of hundreds of parents of children with special needs.
Married with Special-Needs Children looks at the ways in which having a child with special needs can make it more difficult for a marriage to thrive and how a child's intensive needs can change the structure of a marriage. The authors examine many of the underlying stresses and common pitfalls --a couple's differing coping mechanisms and expectations of a child, communication breakdowns and difficulties resolving conflicts, for example. They then present a wide range of strategies for handling or preventing these problems. Marshak and Prezant also describe what makes a marriage strong, such as continuing to share connections outside of parenting roles, keeping a sense of autonomy, and sharing childcare responsibilities. Parents get advice about the importance of romance and intimacy and the benefits of finding time for each other even when they feel too tired or overwhelmed. In addition, the book deals with serious marital troubles and divorce considerations. Throughout are quotes from husbands and wives, offering special insight into what was especially difficult for them, what solutions they've discovered, and what they wished they'd done differently.
For parents looking for ways to strengthen their marriage, prevent future strife, or resolve or move on from significant relationship difficulties, this guide offers guidance and expertise for taking the next step. Married with Special-Needs Children is also invaluable to mental health professionals, giving them a realistic view of what many of their clients are dealing with on a day-to-day basis.
This book retails for $24.95.
Here are the ways to be entered!
For one entry - follow the blog and post a comment that you follow (If you already follow, that counts)
For one entry - blog about this giveaway
For one entry - Refer your friends on Facebook to follow the blog (post a comment with the link)
This is a great book for parents of children with ANY special-needs. Drawing will be done on October 25th. Good luck!
Married with Special-Needs Children looks at the ways in which having a child with special needs can make it more difficult for a marriage to thrive and how a child's intensive needs can change the structure of a marriage. The authors examine many of the underlying stresses and common pitfalls --a couple's differing coping mechanisms and expectations of a child, communication breakdowns and difficulties resolving conflicts, for example. They then present a wide range of strategies for handling or preventing these problems. Marshak and Prezant also describe what makes a marriage strong, such as continuing to share connections outside of parenting roles, keeping a sense of autonomy, and sharing childcare responsibilities. Parents get advice about the importance of romance and intimacy and the benefits of finding time for each other even when they feel too tired or overwhelmed. In addition, the book deals with serious marital troubles and divorce considerations. Throughout are quotes from husbands and wives, offering special insight into what was especially difficult for them, what solutions they've discovered, and what they wished they'd done differently.
For parents looking for ways to strengthen their marriage, prevent future strife, or resolve or move on from significant relationship difficulties, this guide offers guidance and expertise for taking the next step. Married with Special-Needs Children is also invaluable to mental health professionals, giving them a realistic view of what many of their clients are dealing with on a day-to-day basis.
This book retails for $24.95.
Here are the ways to be entered!
For one entry - follow the blog and post a comment that you follow (If you already follow, that counts)
For one entry - blog about this giveaway
For one entry - Refer your friends on Facebook to follow the blog (post a comment with the link)
This is a great book for parents of children with ANY special-needs. Drawing will be done on October 25th. Good luck!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Journey Begins
Welcome to my new blog. :)
I recently decided that I was going to create a new blog - dedicated to our journey in dealing with, learning about, forging forward in Jason's autism. I continued to put it off, as I wasn't sure anyone would really be interested in hearing what I had to say. But, today has changed that for me.
Jason is my son. He is 6, and a bright light in my life. He's a beautiful child, with a sweet heart, and a cute sense of humor. Jason also has high functioning autism and OCD. To know him, is to adore him...and I do.
Today I participated in Oklahoma's 2010 Walk Now for Autism Speaks. Being there, with so many families who are going through this journey, too, I really felt that it was important to bring more awareness to this issue. To do SOMEthing. I found it just crazy that while autism is diagnosed more often in children than AIDS, diabetes, or cancer - it only receives 5% of all research grants and funds. Insurances don't cover therapies and treatments for autism. Autism costs this nation over $90 million dollars a year. 1 in 110 children, and 1 in 70 boys will be diagnosed. There is a new diagnosis every 20 minutes. And yet there are still people who believe autism isn't real. I'm here to say it IS real. And so many families are affected.
In this blog I hope to raise awareness, share our story, and hopefully share information that might be useful somewhere. Autism affects the whole family, and can be a great challenge. We all need support. <3
In the next few months, I am going to be trying to come up with some way to become more of an advocate for my son...for my friend's sons...for all of the children and teens and adults affected by this issue. I appreciate you reading and being a support system.
I recently decided that I was going to create a new blog - dedicated to our journey in dealing with, learning about, forging forward in Jason's autism. I continued to put it off, as I wasn't sure anyone would really be interested in hearing what I had to say. But, today has changed that for me.
Jason is my son. He is 6, and a bright light in my life. He's a beautiful child, with a sweet heart, and a cute sense of humor. Jason also has high functioning autism and OCD. To know him, is to adore him...and I do.
Today I participated in Oklahoma's 2010 Walk Now for Autism Speaks. Being there, with so many families who are going through this journey, too, I really felt that it was important to bring more awareness to this issue. To do SOMEthing. I found it just crazy that while autism is diagnosed more often in children than AIDS, diabetes, or cancer - it only receives 5% of all research grants and funds. Insurances don't cover therapies and treatments for autism. Autism costs this nation over $90 million dollars a year. 1 in 110 children, and 1 in 70 boys will be diagnosed. There is a new diagnosis every 20 minutes. And yet there are still people who believe autism isn't real. I'm here to say it IS real. And so many families are affected.
In this blog I hope to raise awareness, share our story, and hopefully share information that might be useful somewhere. Autism affects the whole family, and can be a great challenge. We all need support. <3
In the next few months, I am going to be trying to come up with some way to become more of an advocate for my son...for my friend's sons...for all of the children and teens and adults affected by this issue. I appreciate you reading and being a support system.
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